Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Fears of lizards and cockroaches

It is so funny to see Sophie shrieking at the sight of bugs and cockroaches. One other thing she can’t stand with is lizard. I think she can blame me on that for ‘over terrified’ of lizards because I was always jumped off when I saw lizards around. And what about bugs and cokcroaches? I have no idea, but I think that’s because she had the influenced by her Aunt Noi who always over reacted over bugs. Me also don’t like it either. I know most people do not like cockroaches. It’s mainly because they’re dirty and weird. Ok the truth is they gross me out. So does Sophie, she might think these bugs would have done something with her if they are just nearby.

Well, it is normal that our toddlers are demonstrating appropriate fear right now. Most children go thru this stage and it’s almost like a switch goes off and all of a sudden we can’t investigate spider webs anymore or visit our local park because of the bee’s! I just think that we have to be patient and not read into it too deeply until they are older. To have better solutions, we should not continue to have earth shattering fears that may show your child to have a form of anxiety, which is unlikely.

I found in my experience, not making too big deal about stuffs...if Sophie would freak out I would simply acknowledge it, and say I understand and it’s ok, the bugs won’t hurt you (even I also quite scared of it). I also find that if I show MY fears, forget it, it’s a life-sentence to a small child. I told ya, that’s what happened to Sophie when I was terrified with lizards. Now, she can even spot any lizards in or outside the house in no time, because she’s so afraid of them. At one time, when we’ve been to PD and there was a ‘big lizard’ – biawak outside the house, she just stands in our room and refused to go wherever even that ‘big lizard’ can’t be seen. Well, it’s kind of scary for me as well, that biawak was so big, and I’m typical lady who have an irrational fear of lizards or any animals yg merayap.. ergghhh!!!

Some kids may be soothed if you try talking more directly about the fear: See they develop fear from adults, they must have seen someone screaming when they saw a bug and it has registered in their mind and refuses to let go. But don't minimize your child's fears. Bluntly stating there's "no such thing" or "nothing to be afraid of" isn't logic they are going to buy into. For them it’s very real I guess...we never know… so, our job is to help them cope, reassure them and make sure they feel comfortable confiding in us. Or else, you can bring it up to his/her pediatrician. See if the pediatrician sees reasons to be concerned (and most likely he won't).


Please don'ts:* Don’t force your kids to confront their fears. I don’t think they are equipped to do that at this age.* Don't tell them that "big kids aren't afraid." That doesn't take the fear away. It just adds pressure and makes it more difficult for them to come to you.

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