I know it’s been awhile.. life is so complicated yet amazing. The last post I’ve written was the so called letter to Sophie during my offshore training. Sophie is now 22 months and there are lots of story I wanna tell you. I will keep it short. I promise.. such little thing was big for me so I won’t miss any moment which given by God because I know we are such a blessed parents to have her. Every parents would proud of their children, ain’t I right? So let me start with...

17 month-old Sophie

After the incident of we being apart for 2 weeks, Sophie was very attached to me and even couldn’t bare to see me passed by because she will asked me to hold her…every minute. However with the greatest effort of her daddy, she was very independent during nighttime as she can sleep by herself in her lovely room. Yup.. amazing right? In fact, she always knows when I told her its time to go to sleep, and there she was.. she went to her room and dragged her pillow together and.. lied down.. and sleep. Sometimes, yes, she wanted me to be there, just for awhile until she slept. Most of the time she was very easy to get her to bed, but like other children, sometimes she would give us a hard time to make her go to bed. Well..well..well… I bet most parents face it explicitly challenging.. that’s what we are.. to be challenged.. like a test for us to be a good parents.

That’s the good part, and the worst part was I have had almost stop breast pumping that time. After I went back from offshore, the breastmilk hasn’t produced as it did before, because no stimulation since I was on board. So Sophie was completely couldn’t get enough of milk. So then we started gave him the Pediasure to make sure she gets enough milk. I felt utterly useless, as a mom..i thot I could give her fully breastmilk till she’s 2, at least..

I tried, I beast pumped during my training, I even didn’t stop pumping until the last day onboard.. I’ve bought milkmaid tea to stimulate and to increase the milk, but I was failed. I was sad.. totally.. until now, I would say.. I envy to some people I know who still made it in fact a fully breastfed until their children are 2.. ooo.. I’m sorry dear.. I really wish I could give you more than now…

But there are still some, I tried pumped it, and it was not even 1 oz, but Sophie still not stopping from breastfeed. She’s also can manage to drink the formula if she wants it.. honestly, she’s almost depends on formula right now, almost 98.5%...i told ya.. that’s really the worst part..